Monday, March 31, 2008











These are my American Idol favorites (not necessarily in order) this year.



I thought I'd show you, since that blue is so beautifully refreshing against the brown
background....


and since I'm exhausted and have very little to actually say.



I don't really need them to win, because I want them to be free to be themselves after the tour.
(Sorry guys, but it's true.)


Oh, yeah, um.... I like Brooke, Carly, and Ramiele, too.






** H **

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Product review by Queen B

The following is Queen B's
unsolicited opinion of the efficacy of Crest Pro-Health Night rinse.
By the way... it was FREE from CVS/pharmacy due to their fabulous Extracare Bucks program. Are you familiar? Do you CVS ? Check it out! http://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/cvs/gateway/extracarehome .
(Please keep in mind... Queen B is a toddler. She's brutally honest without intent of malice. In defense of the folks at Crest, this is just one toddler's opinion. Nothing more, nothing less.)
-Thursday morning, 7:00 a.m., CDST-
QB: You smell very bad.
Me: What?!?
QB: (waving fingers in front of her mouth) In here, in your mouth.

Me: You mean my breath?

QB: Yesssssssss! (contorting face to show displeasure)

Me: Well, Missy, your breath smells bad in the morning, too.

QB: No.

Me: Yeah, it does.

QB: No.... it's NOT!

Me: I used mouthwash last night. It didn't help?

QB: NO!

Me: Well, you have a pippy (pacifier) in your mouth at night, so you don't smell good either.

QB: YES I DO! A pippy smells good. Your washwash in your mouth is BAAAD!

And then she walked away. Apparently... we were done....

con-vah-sation o-VAH!

(Talk to the left, cuz you ain't right!)

Oh... and if you're interested in more CVS info..... the link for Money Saving Mom's blog over on the left side of the page!

** H **






Thought for the day:
Give yourself permission
to be joyful in your incompetence,
domestic or otherwise.
*** *** *** Contentment *** *** ***
Philippians 4:12 (N I V)
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Is your to-do list overwhelming?
Mine is. Would it be ok if, say , for TODAY,
we work our way through the to-do list as life permits
and really, really TRY not to let our failings over-shadow our joy?
What's robbing you of joy today? Have you learned the secret of being content?
I'd like to say that I have, but so often I struggle. I'm not wanting for things, but for perfection. For completion of the never-ending list.
So today, as I fail miserably I'm going to smile. And be joyful.
I'll smile while I apologize to Mr. Amazing for not washing his favorite work shirts.
I'll smile when the UPS man gets peanut butter on his hand as he tries to open our front door.
I'll smile, be joyful, and think happy thoughts about the storage room
in all its disheveled glory.
I'll sing with glee.
For I know that some day, at some time yet to be determined,
I really will hem those pants for Mr. Amazing. And bake a pie from scratch.
And..... wait... this is sounding like a list....
think joyful thoughts... think joyful thoughts...
Have a great day, y'all. I've got to go..... I've got some smiling to do!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Penny Wise, Dollar Ridiculously Idiotic?

First, I'm sorry to have to do this to you... but because some of you will be in over your heads once I start this.... YES, I'm using a few made up words. Don't bother pulling out the dictionary. :>)

Mad coupon skills. I have 'em.
I brag about 'em.
I'm no Crystal Paine -LOL-. She authors one of my favorite frugal websites http://www.moneysavingmom.com/ .... I am a Royal Pain... but not a Crystal Paine.
(Sorry, Crystal, if you should ever happen to see this...I'm not
poking fun at your name, just givin' the props
for your extensive couponness, which far exceeds my skills -
mad though they may be.)

Whilst I did dazzle and amaze myself and onlookers with my couponiacally frugal endeavors last month, I accidentally (moronically) forgot to pay a few of our bills.

I had the money.
I wasn't out of checks. I wasn't bedridden. Wasn't out of stamps. The check was not in the mail.
The dog didn't eat it. My computer didn't crash. Nobody tased me.

I just flat out FORGOT. Time got away from me.
What went wrong? What what my excuse... I mean REASON?
1) I'm a mom.
2) I'm a mom of TWO.
3) I'm a mom to THESE TWO!
4) We have a dog.
5) I had to sort coupons.
6) There were lots of coupons.

See... I've been REALLY busy. :>)

Truth is, there was no excuse. Well, there was an excuse. Just pick one. Not a reason, though.

Incompetence can be an expensive habit.

Good news is, I managed to get all the late fees reversed (thank you God... and thank you, customer service reps who had mercy on me).

I simply called and admitted my stupidity and my need for mercy right off the bat.

Most were helpful and even a little bit pleasant.

There was one lady in particular, though, who made my day.

She had no sense of humor whatsoever and/or was overwhelmed with my stellar incompetence and could not find it within herself to laugh with me about it.

Our conversation went something like this:

Me: I don't know what happened. It snuck up on me soooo fast. Was it just me, or was February REALLY short this year?!

(dead silence for a small eternity)

She (in an expressionless voice): Ma'am, this year February was one day longer.

Me: hhmmmm.... (thoughtful pause)... WELL, I guess I'd better really watch it next year, then, huh?"

She: Yes, Ma'am. I've reversed the late fee. Will that be all today?

Me: Well, not for me. I have 3 more companies to call!

She: Have a good day, Ma'am. Good-bye.

I wonder if she has a blog where she writes about all the incompetent people who call her at work.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Embarassingly Revealing?

Folks are amazed, it seems, when I talk about potentially embarassing incidents/situations/things about myself and don't feel all that embarassed about them.

Maybe they think some things that are revealed might well be left in the
"realm-of-that-which-is-not-mentioned".

(Now, don't start chewing on your nose hair. Relax. I'm not going to say anything explicit or, you know, REALLY weird here!)
You were worried though, weren't you? For just a second?

So, back to these revelations.
You might wonder ....

"WHY does she DO that!?!"

So let's talk about just a few of the many reasons, ok? Want to?

(Here's where you say "Oh, goody... let's talk about them. Yes, let's do!"
That's what Mr. Amazing would say. He says "Oh goody.." a lot when I want to discuss things.)

1) I like to make people laugh. It's fun. And I like to laugh. A whole big bunch. And I think I'm funny. Not my jokes. Well, some of them. But, I mean, I do some really wacky stuff.
Then I think....... "What?!!"

So when you're thinking "What?!!" about me, I'm not losing anything. I'm not less for it.
We're enjoying my incompetence together, you and I.
Is it not one of the wonders of God's creation that we can do so?
I was placed here for our entertainment.
How very thoughtful, Amen?

2) I know that not everyone can handle these potential embarassments like I can. Maybe, in some small way, others (who can't seem to handle feeling incompetent as well as I can) will feel slightly superior to me. And even if it's only me, it's someone. So I will have made their day. There I am again, helping us all out.. :>) he he he....

3) And, finally... I hope that someone, somewhere will glean some value from my stories... cautionary tales, if you will. "Oh, man, whatever I do, I will NEVER put on lipstick and then rub my lips together while I'm driving.... remember when Heather did that?? Oh, the horror!!!"

Sure, they laughed hysterically when I told the story. And they wondered why I shared that story aloud.
Why, oh why, didn't I keep THAT one to myself? HOW embarassing.

Why didn't I keep it to myself, you ask?

What? You'd better NOT be asking. If you are seriously asking me that, get your hiney back to the top of this post and re-read, Mister! or... or... Missy!... or .... whomever you may be!

I have to go now. I've more to say, but let's leave it for another time. Queen B has arisen and calls to me from her chamber.

H

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"What did * I * do !? "

I don't have much time tonight, and we've all been hacking and gagging at our house with some sort of cold or allergy thing, so sleep is sounding like big fun.

Among Queen B's latest accomplishments is the use of the phrase "What did *I* do?!?"
Apparently this phrase is to be said in the most indignant voice you can muster in response to any request from your mother.

Example 1:

Me: Queen B, we need to get the toys picked up so we can take a nap.

Queen B: What did * I * do ?!?

Me: Nothing, honey. We just need to pick up the toys because it's time to take a nap.



Example 2:

Me: Queen B, come here.

Queen B: What did * I * do?!?

Me: Nothing. It's time to eat.

Queen B: Do I *HAVE* to eat that? What did I DOOOO?????

(ok, so, apparently...eating food that her mother has made is also some sort of punishment)


I think tomorrow when she asks for help in the bathroom I'm going to say

"WHY?!?! What did *I * do !?!?!?!?!?!"

Thanks for listening.
H

Monday, March 17, 2008

First impression?

When I came to my senses this morning and re-read yesterday's ramblings, I realized that if you only knew me by that post, you'd think I was one of those people who talks more about their
d-o-g than their children. It's simply not true. You'll see. But I wanted you to know right now.

H

Sunday, March 16, 2008

And the evening and the morning were the first day.

ARGH! THIS PICTURE DOESN'T GO HERE!!! :>)
Read down there, near the bottom, where I introduce you to my doggie. I didn't ask for the pic to post here, but ....

I'm NEW at this, ok?
Hang on while I give myself a break!!!

I wasted - I mean spent - the better part of today - off & on - trying to figure out how to set this up. It shouldn't be so hard, should it? Probably a lot easier.... oh well... no one wants to hear me whine about it....

But, see, there are all these things I want to put into spaces that are too small. And so many things I want to say that keep clogging my brain.

As for what we'll be talking about in the future, I'm making a list and checking it thrice.
Why thrice, you ask? (Ok, pretend like you asked.)
Thrice, my friend, because when one obsesses about things the way I do, twice may not be enough.

The good news is, I'm just as lazy as I am obsessive. So I might get tired of being obsessive and just post about whatever comes to mind at the moment, like I'm doing now.

First thing today, I'd like to talk about none other than (drum roll, please)....

Mr. Amazing - my husband. (Clap, everyone, clap!!!)

Mr. Amazing is more than amazing. He is wonderful. Delightful, even. For just a moment, I'd like to guide your eyes to the partial dictionary entry below (I've deleted the parts that didn't suit my agenda :>). Please pay special attention to the obsolete definition as well as the synonyms listed.

a·maze
1. to overwhelm with surprise or sudden wonder; astonish greatly.
2. (obsolete) to bewilder; perplex. –verb (used without object)
3. to cause amazement: a new art show that delights and amazes. –noun
4. Archaic.
amazement.
[Origin: bef. 1000; ME amasen, OE āmasian to confuse, stun, astonish. See
a-3, maze]
Synonyms 1. astound, dumfound, stun, flabbergast.

See surprise. Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.


Need I say more? (Probably not , but rest assured I will.) For now, can we just pretend I didn't say anything about him being amazing? You know, like a secret? Don't mention it. Not a peep. It's not to be talked about. Not a bit. Not even a little bit. Not a little itty bitty bit. Ok?

ANYWAY, back to Mr. Amazing:
He works hard, he plays hard, he smiles a lot.
He winks. He spreads joy to those around him. He's the funnest husband ever, I think.
He asked me to marry him, agreed to parent children with me.

Then he went out and hopped on his dirtbike, just assuming I'd follow him around
like I always had. Well, not that I ALWAYS followed him around, but... well... I have a stroller now. And a carseat. And a diaper bag. And goat's milk to keep cool. And snacks. Lots of snacks.

Now, I'm not for a second trying to say that Mr. Amazing isn't a fabulous father.
He's a wonderful father. He's the funnest dad ever. (And don't be posting to tell me "funnest" isn't a word. Like I don't already know that, yo.)

He's an AMAZING dad.

**If you were to pretend this was a piece of music, there'd be a repeat sign here. Go back to that part where I first called him Mr. Amazing. And stop just after the definition.
If you "get" wit, you'll know that was an attempt at it.
Wit, I mean. An attempt at wit. I'm ... uh... um.. AMAZING, aren't I ? **

~~~ ~~~
Moto K and Queen B - my beautiful, wonderful, awesome children. We homeschool them, because we do. Because God wants us to. And we agree about it. And it works for us.
And no, we're not worried about their social skills. So don't even ask, or we might worry about yours.

Moto K is 11 years old.
He likes fast bikes, extreme sports, loud music, screaming guitars. He bowls. He knows karate.

He specializes in smartasm. Or smarcasm. I don't know which it should be.
He's a Jesus Freak, for real. He don't need no trainin' wheels. The first day he rode a 2-wheeler (at age 2!) he was looking for something to jump.
He designs original t-shirts.
What do you want on your shirt? He can make that. (As long as it involves a Sharpie.)
If you'd like something air-brushed, you're going to have to wait. The classes were full.

Queen B is still a toddler. But that doesn't stop her.
She loves music, has a sense of humor most teenagers would give their pinky toe for, she knows the Pledge of Allegiance, her ABC's, can sing in 3 languages, and is the only one in the family with her very own passport. It's how she rolls.
I have considered myself a princess for years, but this girl is no princess.

She's not going to sit back and have royal decisions made for her. She's gonna run the show. When she plays waitress she doesn't say "May I take your order?" She stares you down (sweetly, of course) and says "Whatchu WANT ??"

Good grief! It seems I forgot to mention THE DOG!!!!
He claimed us from the humane society last spring. We weren't even going to get a dog.
*And apparently, he's now going to dominate my blog. I wasn't even going to post his picture today but I couldn't leave well enough alone, could I??

Anyway. about getting a dog.....if we did get one, it would be very small and female. And under a year old. HE was 4 years old. And not small... but not big. Definitely not female.
He was in the cages by the big dogs. And they were barking so loud I just wanted to get out of that aisle. But he kept LOOKING at us.
My son asked to see him in the little room where you meet the doggies... you know, just you and the doggie. Queen B toddled around him. He could care less.
I tried to mess with his ears, eyes, mouth - you know, to see if he was tolerant of such things. He was. I put both hands toward his head to "grab" at him... you know, to see if he was tolerant of such things. You have to be careful with a toddler. He was.
And then.... HE hugged me. He climbed up in my lap and pushed the side of himself into me, put his neck across my neck, put his head on my shoulder, sighed.... a real doggie hug. We were chosen. :>)

We named him Deegan, after the extreme moto-x guy. He doesn't really act like an extreme moto dog. That's ok. He's very mellow. But he has anxiety issues over my comings and goings.
Apparently, he'd like me to always be with him. :>) He sits in our picture window and watches me pull away in the car. I swear it looks like he's mumbling something to himself...

By the way, did you really LOOK at that picture up there, the one that's where it's not supposed to be?
Did you SEE that? We didn't at first. The neighbor girl noticed it. She said...." He has a smiley face on his butt." ? ? ?
Sure enough. My friend calls him "Happy A**" but I'm not going to say the bad word! In my photo album, that picture is entitled "Have A Nice Dog".

And, so, my first post has turned into a long, rambling thing that should have been about 4 different posts.
Thanks for reading this far.
You deserve an award. But I'm not going to give you one. :>)